Jokes on you, I do both

Pun 10/10, execution 6/10

“You can’t even ask them to drop the puns—their response will just be Dublin down”

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Disney’s desperation is showing—just look at their stock price the past 2 years… down 50%

I’m honestly surprised they didn’t raise their subscription fees sooner. Unfortunately for them it’s a double edged sword, which will cause a lot of people to cancel and quite possibly harm them in the long run.

What is this fuckery

It’s probably just regular porn the whole point of this joke is the implication of incest from the commenter

Swap coffee and energy drinks. Energy drinks are def the most braindead of the bunch—I know, I used to buy them.

Also where is the “100mg adderall” option?

Sometimes working at something for long enough puts you into like a fugue state. It’s like the opposite of “flow” where you just dumb down.

^This happens to me only when I had entered my dumbzone the previous shift

They want it to be difficult to cancel. Shit like this should be illegal.

reddit makes experience worse for users

Other shocking news at 11

I wan 2 giv boops and scritches and brusho the teethies

I feel like Obama either lays pipe like a master or cums immediately, there’s no in between.

What show is bottom image from?

Now for your next project, a line drawing of a hand giving the finger

College is old enough to stop. Graduating college is definitely old enough to stop. Just send cards and pictures or something if you want, but once they’re fully grownups it’s kind of weird and almost condescending to continue sending them cash.

If you have a particular gift that you think they’d love then by all means, but if you’re just phoning it in or sending them knicknacks out of a sense of obligation, I’d stop.

Anything wet can impart wetness to other things. That’s like saying a sponge isn’t wet because it makes other things wet.

The properties of water are what make something wet, so water isn’t NOT wet—water is 100% wetness. It’s the wettest anything can be.

R/accidents and r/darwinawards really ground me in the present and confront me with my mortality. Curiously enough I think watching strangers die on the internet has been beneficial to my mental equilibrium (not gore stuff, mind you, that’s decidedly un-beneficial).

Some of them are like finaldestination shit where you literally weren’t doing anything wrong or risky and then bam, life’s over for you by sheer astronomical-chance happenstance—but some of them they def fucky wuckied

Note that it didn’t say the other 5% WASNT wet, just that 95% if it was.

BREAKING NEWS Report “95% of water : wet”

Pfft sounds like you need to get your priorities straight. The jobs will still be there tomorrow, get posting.