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Cake day: 2023年8月6日

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  • Cartel torture and execution video. I tried typing up what I remembered of it, but even omitting half the details left me with a very gruesome and disturbing story. I’ll just say that the casual nature of the men doing the torture was the most disturbing part. They laughed and took turns as they drank beer. They made other victims watch while having demented smiles across their faces. They delighted in the screams. I suppose not understanding Spanish was a blessing for a curious child.



  • I’m a FNAF fan, and as a movie its quality is that of a straight to DVD movie. It has major flaws that I could go into incredible length about, but the more I think about it, the more I like it as is. The lore of the games is campy, and all over the place, as well as cliché in many places. The series never took itself too seriously while managing to make goofy characters feel mildly threatening. The FNAF movie captures this campy B movie plot excellently.

    Really, the major draw for me was that I had invested my emotions into a community that formed as a result of the creator embracing his fans and doing his best to give them what they wanted, even if he wasn’t the best at it. The community never really cared that the lore was imperfect, they cared because they felt like they could invest themselves in the story because there was another game of uncovering the hidden story after they finished playing each game. It brought people together because everyone had their own takes on the story. It was super exciting to have each game show up because then you’d have more people with their own takes on the story and big personalities making videos having fun with a goofy game series.

    Seeing the movie felt like a huge love letter to the whole experience. I wanted to see these goofy and campy machines on the big screen because they already occupied a space in my imagination. As a fan, I went in with the perfect level of expectation, I expected a campy B movie that would be fun to watch and not take too seriously, and its exactly what I got. In fact, there was a level of fan service in the film which made me absolutely delighted to watch it.


  • Asthma. People expect you to have dramatic TV style throat closing episodes where you turn blue grabing your throat as you gasp and gag. For me, an episode is just sudden onset hypoxia. I’ll feel my lungs get tight, but because I’m still getting some air it can be hard to tell I’m suffocating, especially if I’m distracted. When it happens, I have about 3 - 5 minutes to catch it. If I fail to catch it, I’ll quickly lose balance, struggle to speak, I’ll be unable to think, and finally my vision darkens to a dot, and then I black out. I can appear fine, and then out faster than anyone expects.

    Once I get a puff, I’m fine in 10 seconds (minus some shaking from the medication.)




  • I don’t talk about products unless they’re really good. I only say anything about the stuff that’s impressively good because I think good products should be rewarded. The steam deck is okay ergonomically, I’ve had hours long sessions and no issues. The screen is big enough to avoid eye strain while keeping it portable. The screen does a great job, and I haven’t seen any flickers or tearing. The screen also responds to touch. The thumbsticks are great quality, with good snap back, and no deadzone. The shoulder buttons aren’t mushy, and respond well. The dpad is unremarkable, but works well. The ABXY buttons are maybe slightly soft, but I haven’t lost any inputs. There’s a trackpad like square that is like a high DPI mouse, and has haptic response to touch.

    The software is the real star. Its set it and forget it. Everything is easy to setup. Most games work, and all games in the store show their compatibility. Some games that aren’t supported still work fine regardless. As a bonus, the desktop mode also works well for acting as a normal PC with a good software “store” (most things are free).

    But the best part is that you can be in the middle of a cutscene, and hit the power button. The deck can usually pick right up from where it left off. Add also the fact that the steam UI can be opened from anywhere so you can rebind controls on the fly. Extra buttons are available on the back for those games that need it, you just need to bind them once.