It does mine.

Because it’s so rarely an option.

iRony.

I used to do this, but between a pair of saltines and with margarine rather than butter.

I never claimed to be healthy.

Gotcha, thank you for the edification.

Sure, and that’s great for you! I am, honestly, envious.

However, you said “you could switch.” For many people, including me, we cannot switch while maintaining a reasonable connection. My options are my current ISP (really not too bad, for the first time in my life), an ISP that provides a maximum of 12Mbps, an ISP that still isn’t quite sure if it can provide service to me, or satellite (which is pretty awful for a variety of services I use regularly). Even discarding reasonable expectations, this is not a “dozen or so.”

While your proposal might be good for you and others in “socialist” Europe, many people (likely even outside of Europe and the USA) don’t have that option and it probably doesn’t help resolve the parent commenter’s complaint.

Edit: also, while the USA is behind Europe in many ways, I suspect this is not so much a Europe vs USA issue as a rural vs not issue.

Hugely location dependent.